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Graduate School Personal
Statement Secrets
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Harvard-educated editors.
The best way to approach your
personal statement for graduate school is to imagine that you have five minutes
with someone from the admissions committee. How would you go about making the
best case for yourself while holding the listener's interest? What would you
include and omit in your story? Figuring out the answer to these questions is
critical to successfully preparing an effective statement.
To arrive at these answers, you
should begin by asking yourself two specific questions:
-
Why have I chosen to attend
graduate school this specific field, and why did I choose to apply to this
particular school's program?
-
What are my qualifications for
admission?
The answers will not necessarily
come easily to you, but this exercise will have great practical benefit in
readying you to write an outstanding personal statement. By answering each
question thoroughly, you will have given much thought to yourself, your
experiences, and your goals, thereby laying the groundwork for formulating an
interesting and persuasive presentation of your own personal story.
As the founder of EssayEdge.com, the
Net's largest admissions essay prep company, I have seen firsthand the
difference a well-written application essay can make. Through its free online
admissions essay help course and 300 Harvard-educated editors, EssayEdge.com
helps tens of thousands of student each year improve their essays and gain
admission to graduate schools ranging from Harvard to State U.
Having personally edited over 2,000
admissions essays myself for EssayEdge.com, I have written this article to help
you avoid the most common essay flaws. If you remember nothing else about this
article, remember this: Be Interesting. Be Concise.
Why Graduate School?
Graduate school is a serious
commitment, and it may have been your goal for a long time. Describing your
early exposure to a field can offer effective insight into your core objectives.
Watch out, however, that you do not your point in such a clich�d, prepackaged
way as to make your reader cringe. For example, you should not start your essay,
"I have always wanted to�." or "I have always known that
_______ was my calling." Instead, you should discuss specific events that
led to your interest in the field.
Graduate school is, of course, a
means to an end, and admissions committees prefer students who know where
they're going and to what use they'll put their education (though the occasional
soul-searcher, who may exhibit exceptional raw potential, is welcomed). For many
people, the long-term goal is to work in academia, and to differentiate yourself
in such cases, you can stress more specific objectives such as your research
interests.
Note: Read the instructions
carefully. Sometimes schools will ask for a statement of purpose describing your
specific research interests in lieu of, or in addition to, a personal statement
that emphasizes your character and qualities. For these types of essays, you can
assume that a faculty member will be reading your statement, but it should still
be accessible enough for a non-specialist to understand. Remember that such
essays should also still aim to engage the reader in a way that conveys your own
enthusiasm for the subject matter.
Avoid mistakes like discussing the
school's rank or prestige, or simply offering generic praise. Instead, mention
faculty members by name and indicate some knowledge of their work. Consider
contacting faculty members first and discussing their current research projects
and your interest in studying under them. Then refer to these contacts in your
essay.
Why Am I Qualified?
The way to prove your qualification
is not to list attributes you believe you possess but to discuss concrete
experiences that show your abilities and qualities. As always, details are
paramount. The rest of your application has already summarized your
accomplishments and your activities. Show the reader what you did in concrete
terms, and again, highlight your active roles.
The experiences that demonstrate
your qualification are not necessarily distinct from those that explain your
motivation. You shouldn't plan on dividing the essay into two separate sections
for each, but rather organize the structure by topic and extrapolate insights as
they develop. It's important that you think of the essay as an integrated whole,
not as a checklist of questions you must answer.
Focus on research experience, since
research will be your main job for the duration of your studies. Be specific
about what you did. If you worked for a year under a professor, you might
consider emphasizing one particular project and exploring that in depth. The
experience does not have to have been a major undertaking: Any practical
experience can be used as long as you demonstrate your enthusiasm and aptitude
for the field of study.
Remember to keep the discussion
personal. Do not get bogged down in minute details and jargon. Ultimately, the
focus of the story should remain on you and your growth or success.
TOP 10 GRADUATE SCHOOL ESSAY WRITING TIPS
1. Don't Write a Term
Paper.
As a prospective graduate student, you may be tempted to try to impress your
reader with an already tight grasp of academic style. Resist this temptation!
You will have plenty of time to produce labyrinthine sentences and sophisticated
vocabulary. Your reader will have seen too many essays to appreciate
bewilderingly advanced prose. Write clearly and personably.
2. Don't Bore the Reader.
Do Be Interesting.
Admissions officers have to read hundreds of essays, and they must often skim.
Abstract rumination has no place in an application essay. Admissions officers
aren't looking for a new way to view the world; they're looking for a new way to
view you, the applicant. The best way to grip your reader is to begin the essay
with a captivating snapshot. Notice how the blunt, jarring "after"
sentence creates intrigue and keeps the reader's interest.
Before: I am a
compilation of many years of experiences gained from overcoming the relentless
struggles of life.
After: I was six years old, the eldest of six children in the Bronx,
when my father was murdered.
3. Do Use Personal Detail.
Show, Don't Tell!
Good essays are concrete and grounded in personal detail. They do
not merely assert "I learned my lesson" or that "these lessons
are useful both on and off the field." They show it through personal
detail. "Show, don't tell" means that if you want to relate a personal
quality, do so through your experiences without merely asserting it.
Before: If
it were not for a strong support system which instilled into me strong family
values and morals, I would not be where I am today.
After: Although my grandmother and I didn't have a car or running
water, we still lived far more comfortably than did the other families I knew.
I learned an important lesson: My grandmother made the most of what little she
had, and she was known and respected for her generosity. Even at that age, I
recognized the value she placed on maximizing her resources and helping those
around her.
The first example is vague and could
have been written by anybody. But the second sentence evokes a vivid image of
something that actually happened, placing the reader in the experience of the
applicant.
4. Do Be Concise. Don't Be Wordy.
Wordiness not only takes up valuable space, but also confuses the important
ideas you're trying to convey. Short sentences are more forceful because they
are direct and to the point. Certain phrases, such as "the fact that,"
are usually unnecessary. Notice how the revised version focuses on active verbs
rather than forms of "to be" and adverbs and adjectives.
Before: My
recognition of the fact that the book was finally finished was a deeply
satisfying moment that will forever linger in my memory.
After: Completing the book at last gave me an enduring sense of
fulfillment.
5. Do Address Your
Weaknesses. Don't Dwell on Them.
The personal statement may be your only opportunity to explain deficiencies in
your application, and you should take advantage of it. Be sure to explain them
adequately: "I partied too much to do well on tests" will not help
your application. The best tactic is to spin the negatives into positives by
stressing your attempts to improve; for example, mention your poor first-quarter
grades briefly, then describe what you did to bring them up.
6. Do Vary Your Sentences and Use Transitions.
The best essays contain a variety of sentence lengths mixed within any given
paragraph. Also, remember that transition is not limited to words like
nevertheless, furthermore or consequently. Good transition flows from the
natural thought progression of your argument.
Before: I started
playing piano when I was eight years old. I worked hard to learn difficult
pieces. I began to love music.
After: I started playing the piano at the age of eight. As I learned to
play more difficult pieces, my appreciation for music deepened.
7. Do Use Active Voice
Verbs.
Passive-voice expressions are verb phrases in which the subject receives the
action expressed in the verb. Passive voice employs a form of the word to be,
such as was or were. Overuse of the passive voice makes prose seem flat and
uninteresting.
Before: The lessons
that have prepared me for my graduate studies were taught to me by my mother.
After: My mother taught me lessons that will prove invaluable as I
pursue my research interests.
8. Do Seek Multiple
Opinions.
Ask your friends and family to keep these questions in mind:
-
Does my essay have one central
theme?
-
Does my introduction engage the
reader? Does my conclusion provide closure?
-
Do my introduction and
conclusion avoid summary?
-
Do I use concrete experiences as
supporting details?
-
Have I used active-voice verbs
wherever possible?
-
Is my sentence structure varied,
or do I use all long or short sentences?
-
Are there any clich�s, such as
"cutting-edge" or "learned my lesson"?
-
Do I use transitions
appropriately?
-
What about the essay is
memorable?
-
What's the worst part of the
essay?
-
What parts of the essay need
elaboration or are unclear?
-
What parts of the essay do not
support my main argument?
-
Is every single sentence crucial
to the essay? This must be the case.
-
What does the essay reveal about
my personality?
9. Don't Wander. Do Stay
Focused.
Many applicants try to turn the personal statement into a complete
autobiography. Not surprisingly, they find it difficult to pack so much
information into such a short essay, and their essays end up sounding more like
a list of experiences than a coherent, well-organized thought. Make sure that
every sentence in your essay exists solely to support one central theme.
10. Do Revise, Revise, Revise.
The first step in an improving any essay is to cut, cut, and cut some more.
EssayEdge.com's free admissions essay help course and Harvard-educated editors
will be invaluable as you polish your essay to perfection. The EssayEdge.com
free help course guides you through the entire essay-writing process, from
brainstorming worksheets and question-specific strategies for the twelve most
common essay topics to a description of ten introduction types and editing
checklists.
SAMPLE ESSAY
I have been planning a career in geological sciences for several years, but as
an undergraduate I concentrated on getting a solid background in math and
science. After graduation, I took a job to allow myself time to thoroughly think
through my plans and to expose myself to a variety of work situations. This
strategy has been very valuable to me in rounding out my career plans.
During the past 18 months I have had
firsthand experience with computers in a wide array of business applications.
This has stimulated me to think about ways in which computers could be used for
scientific research. One idea that particularly fascinates me is mathematical
modeling of natural systems, and I think those kinds of techniques could be put
to good use in geological science. I have always enjoyed and been strong in
areas that require logical, analytical thought, and I am anxious to combine my
interest in earth science with my knowledge of, and aptitude for,
computer-related work. There are several specific areas that I have already
studied that I think would lend themselves to research based on computing
techniques, including mineral phase relations in igneous petrology and several
topics in structural geology.
I have had both lecture/lab and
field courses in structural geology, as well as a short module dealing with
plate tectonics, and I am very interested in the whole area. I would like to
explore structural geology and tectonics further at the graduate level. I am
also interested in learning more about geophysics. I plan to focus on all these
areas in graduate school while at the same time continuing to build up my
overall knowledge of geology.
My ultimate academic goal is to earn
a Ph.D., but enrolling first in a master's program will enable me to explore my
various interests and make a more informed decision about which specific
discipline I will want to study in depth. As far as long-term plans, I hope to
get a position at a university or other institution where I can indulge my
primary impulse, which is to be involved in scientific research, and also try my
hand at teaching.
My decision to focus on math and
science as an undergraduate and to explore the computer industry after college
has equipped me with a unique set of strengths to offer this program. The depth
of my interest in geology has only grown in my time away from academia, and
although I have identified several possible areas of specialization through
prior studies, I look forward to contributing my fresh perspective on all
subjects.
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